In early 2025, VisAble ran a survey for parents, caregivers and siblings who had experienced Child to Parent Violence and Aggression (CPVA). The survey was not only for whānau of those with FASD but for any who had experienced CPVA.
The responses were sadly not a surprise to VisAble's Lee Tempest, a FASD-CAN member who was the lead on this study, as she has lived experience herself of CPVA and has worked with many whānau living with it.
The results of the survey have now been summarised in a report. VisAble expressed their gratitude all who took part – this included some FASD-CAN members:
We would like to thank the courageous parents/caregivers, grandparents and siblings who placed their trust in us to share their experiences of child to parent violence and abuse within their home. Your stories are a precious taonga to us and we hope we have honoured your lived experiences in this summary.
Here are some of the quotes from parents who worked with VisAble on the survey:
“Even putting things down in writing helps… it’s good to know others also experience this and that there is someone who is wanting to understand / help families like ours – thank you for doing this.”
“I feel very ashamed that my child behaves this way towards me. I blame myself that our relationship is so dysfunctional that he treats me this way. Ignorant people judging my parenting and coping strategies and giving overly simplistic solutions, which only makes me feel even more alone and stuck in this situation”.
It was interesting to note that '96% of parents/caregivers recognised that the behaviour was often linked to their child’s disability, sensory needs, reduced cognitive and executive skills or mental health and had adapted their parenting to accommodate their child’s needs'.
“[A diagnosis] taught us more about parenting and disabilities. It actually allowed us to see how much our son was struggling and, along with other factors, led to a drastic change in lifestyle, which is still hard but we can see improvement”.
NOTES:
• Lee Tempest was interviewed by Jesse Mulligan on Radio NZ on June 25, 2025. You can listen to the interview here.
• If you are experiencing CPVA, we have information and more support in the CPVA section of our Caregiver and Whānau Support webpage – click here.
• VisAble has a regular support group for whānau experiencing CPVA.
• Note that this survey was conducted with parents and caregivers who are currently experiencing CPVA – not the general population of those who are caring for neurodivergent tamaiti/children.
