Nau mai, haere mai! Welcome to 'Teens and Beyond' – a guide to what you need to know once you have turned 18.

Becoming an adult can be exciting… but it can also be confusing if you’re living with a condition like Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder which can affect how you process the world around you.

Adulthood has privileges to be enjoyed as well as responsibilities that require skills and preparation, and there is definitely stuff you need to know about.

The good news is there's lots of support out there!

This resource will tell you what you need to know, and how to find useful information to build your skills and confidence, so you can successfully manage what the world expects of you now you’re an adult.

Click here to go to our Teens and Beyond pages. 

Please note – some of the information in this guide can be a lot to understand, so if you can, go through it with a parent, caregiver or other trusted adult. 

Did you know you have your very own Facebook page where you can connect with others in Aotearoa who have FASD? It can be really helpful to connect with others who know exactly what life is like for you, and it's a great way to make new friends who 'get it'. 

Click here to find out more...

Based in the UK, this website is written with advice from adults and young people who have FASD, along with a whole team of whānau and experts. It's full of ideas to help you understand and own your FASD diagnosis – and your uniqueness.

Check it out here – and don't forget to watch some of the YouTube videos...

If you have have felt worried or anxious, you'll know it can be a horrible experience. Did you know that there's a 24 hour, seven days a week helpline available that you can call? It's completely free and confidential. 

If you need immediate help call 0800 269 4389 (0800 ANXIETY) or check out their website for some tips and tools on how to cope with feeling anxious. (Please note that calls between midnight and 8am are for emergency calls only.)

Click here to go to the website. 

If you have FASD, it can really help to understand your feelings and emotions – but this can be hard. You may first need some ways to figure out WHAT you're feeling.

Below you'll find some information about how to identity and work with your emotions – and how to then change the outcome!

1. Notice and identify your emotions

To be able to work with strong emotions, you must first have a way to recognise exactly what you are feeling. That feeling can then be named and 'rules' for appropriate reaction to that feeling can be made. 

• The first step is noticing that you are starting to feel stressed – the earlier you can realise that you may be heading towards an emotional blowup, the easier it can be to stop it in its tracks.
  
  
• Stop and think about what you're feeling; for example, a fast-beating heart, sweaty hands, hot face. Make a connection with those physical feelings to the meltdown so you can try and remember what feelings are connected to which behaviours.
  
  
• Always name emotions very clearly. Get help from a family member or friend if you need it! With teens and adults, name the emotion first and then follow with the words your friends might use (say 'angry' or 'pissed off').
  
  
• To clarify your emotions, try using an outline drawing of a person, make copies of it and keep them handy - one person for each different page / emotion. Decide on some simple colour codes e.g. a red head for anger, blue for sad, yellow for happy, and grey for blank. You could draw faces on them too – like emojis!
  
  Colour the outline in with the colour of your feelings – this can give you a quick and immediate idea of the state of your emotional health. This might help, especially when you are not able to describe your feelings.

Here are some outlines you can use to colour in, and a 'feelings chart' you can print out. Click on the images below to download and print – you can print multiple copies. You could make a booklet in a file and keep your feelings pictures in there. 

2. Express your feelings – the right way

If you have identified that you are:

• Stressed and may be about to have a meltdown, use 'calm down' techniques. Leave the situation, take yourself away to a quiet place or outside in nature, do some breathing techniques, maybe lie down and listen to music.
  
  
• Tired – lie down and rest, listen to some music or a story.
  
  
• Frustrated – have a list of physical activities you can do – keep it handy on the fridge or in your room.
  
  
• Angry – express it physically in an acceptable and safe way – punch a cushion or rip up some newspaper!
  
  
• Sad – talk to a family member or friend about how you feel – a hug can make everyone feel better.

REMEMBER: the first thing to do is NOTICE how you are feeling, then STOP AND THINK how to deal with those feelings!

How often do you run out of money for kai?  How often do you seem to owe money to people, and not be able to pay them back? Are you unable to pay your bills? If you find managing your money difficult, you are not alone.

It is a relatively common problem for people with FASD, and it is all to do with the way your brain works. However, there are things you can do to manage your money better.

Why it can be hard to make your money work well for you

• Although you can touch money and hold it in your hand, the value of it and the worth of items are ideas that can be hard to understand! You're not alone – it's a common problem for many neurodiverse people.

• As an FASD individual it's easy to ‘live in the moment’ – you may not always think about past mistakes or future consequences of your actions, because these ideas can be hard to think about, too.

• If you have memory problems, it's hard to remember that a certain amount of money might need to last a certain amount of time – if you have money coming in to your account only once a month, it could be a problem if you spend it all in the first week!

• Buying something quickly without thinking about more important things you might need (like food!) is common – but try to avoid it! Before you buy something, try and make it a habit to stop and think: do I really need this right now?

• Sadly people with FASD or other neurodiversities can be targeted by people who realise that they can talk you into using your money for them – and if you don't realise that, they might end up taking your money from you.

Strategies to use your money wisely

• Practice shopping with a parent or friend at the supermarket – comparing prices, looking for things that are on sale, keeping track of your the total and going through the checkout.
  
  
• Have an allowance each day/week/month that is broken up into smaller payments for certain things.
  
  
• Plan out exactly where the money should go, write it down, and check in with a parent or caregiver if unsure.
  
  
• Practise using money at home to match sums of money with the value of clothing, groceries, etc.
  
  
• If you're a bit older, get help on learning to budget and practice planning for monthly bills to help remember about time and money concepts.
  
  
• Get a person you trust to help keep track of your expenses, when you owe money, and what you spend your money on.
  
  
• It can be great to get help setting up automatic payments for any payments that need to happen every month such as rent if you are living independently. 

• Remember to ask a parent or caregiver before selling or buying things to people who might not have your best interests to avoid losing money and/or possessions.
  
  

The 'Stand Tall' Money App

The IHC in Aotearoa has developed an app which is a fun way for neurodivergent people to learn how to use your money wisely. It started out as a board game, then an online game, and is now a downloadable app. The Stand Tall money app is transforming the lives of many young people with intellectual challenges, and in April 2024 was nominated as one of the Hi-Tech Awards Finalists as one of the best new apps that help change lives. 

Like many games, you start by creating an avatar (a digital version of yourself) and then learn easy ways to use your money, including budgeting for essentials, saving and figuring how much you can spend on fun stuff each month! 

Click here to find out more about the Stand Tall app on the website – you'll find links to download the app here, too.