Some people with FASD can live independently, some can live away from their families with lots of help, and some may feel more comfortable and confident staying at home with their whānau.
If you are living with your parents it would be great to learn some skills by helping them - like keeping your room tidy, doing the dishes after a meal and cooking meals that you like.
Try making a list of all the things your parents do to keep your home clean, tidy and maintained… it’s a long list and they will definitely need your help!
There are lots of resources at the end of this section, but to start with, here are some things to think about.
What do I need to know before leaving home?
- It’s not a good idea to leave home with nowhere to go – even if a friend has said you can stay on their couch, it will usually only be for a few days. It’s best to have a safe place to live long term that is fully confirmed well before you move out. If you would like some temporary legal advice, contact YouthLaw.
- Planning your move is very important. Moving house is always stressful for everyone but the more planning and support you put in, the better it will be.
- Leaving home means more independence and more freedom, but it also means more responsibilities. It can be expensive and sometimes lonely.
- Moving in with a friend sounds like fun but it is not always a great idea. They may do things differently to the way you do them. You might not feel comfortable or have much privacy. Sometimes these problems can become so big it might mean the end of your friendship! Make sure you talk things over thoroughly with your friend, and your family or support people, before moving.
Talking to Your Family
If you’re thinking you’d like to try living independently outside your family, it’s a good idea to sit down and have a discussion with them.
- Tell your parents you need to talk. Say something like, “we should talk about my future.”
- Tell them whether you would like to move to a place of your own or in with a friend.
- Be open to discussion as they will probably know a lot about moving out and living in flats. They may have some very helpful suggestions if they agree that it’s a good idea!
What can I take with me when I leave home?
You can take:
- your personal clothing and accessories
- anything you have bought with your own money
- anything bought especially for you e.g.. bike, radio
- any personal documents such as your passport, drivers licence, birth certificate
- anything else your parents have agreed you can take.
You can’t take anything that is owned by your parents, or anyone else unless you have asked them and they said yes.
Getting ready to move out
Here are a few things to think about.
Money and things you'll need to buy
Having enough money to pay the bills is important to successfully living on your own.
Be prepared to buy items you may not have thought about or don’t already have. If you'll be paying for everything by yourself, make sure that you have enough money saved up well before you start.
- You’ll need your bond (this is usually one month’s rent which you pay to your landlord in case anything in the house is damaged when you move out) plus your first month’s rent ready to pay before you move.
- Before you move out of home, make a list of everything you'll need including things you don't yet own for your new place.
- If your new home is not furnished, you may need to buy a bed, some chairs, a table, a couch, a fridge and more. Other necessary items can include crockery and cutlery, pots and pans, cleaning supplies, sheets, blankets, pillows, towels, tea towels.
- Consider shopping at op shops for some items you'll need or try TradeMe or Facebook Marketplace pages.
You don’t always need everything at the beginning, you can go without some things until you’re able to afford them.
Secure a place to live
Without a confirmed, safe and manageable place to live, it may be hard to manage a job, school, or anything else in your life.
- Talk to friends or family in the area where you want to live who may have ideas to help
- Search online websites that advertise houses or flats to rent
- Contact a property management company in the area you’ll be moving to help you find a suitable place to rent.
Know the move-in date at your new house
Before you do anything you need to know the date you can move into your new home.
When you talk to your new landlord, make sure to get an exact move-in date in writing.
When you have a date that you can move in you can organise turning on utilities – see below.
Set up your utilities
Utilities are the things that make your house work! For example electricity, water, and internet providers.
- If you’re moving in with someone who already has utilities set up, talk to that person about how utilities will be divided between everyone living there.
- Contact all your utility providers and arrange for them to turn the utilities on.
If you’re starting a new service, you may need to pay a deposit or connection fee.
Click here to find a good checklist about utilities you can go through here on the Consumer website.
Packing your belongings
Packing can take a while! Make sure you give yourself plenty of time to think about what you need to take – start making a list a while beforehand, and add to it as you think of things so that you don't forget anything.
- Borrow or buy (from a moving company) boxes to pack your stuff into.
- Put all of your things together and check them or get someone else to check them before you pack them.
Timing when to leave
Before you move, you should talk to your friends and family to see if they’ll be available to help you move when the time comes. Moving is always made a lot easier when you have people there to help who care about you.
- You may need to time your move around the schedules of your friends and family.
- Remember that your friends and family helping you to move is not only about moving, but about emotional support as well.
Moving your things to your new home
When you’re house or flat and utilities ready, you’ll need to arrange how you’ll move your things.
- If you’re moving and have a lot of things to bring with you (like furniture), you can ask a friend or family member if you can use their trailer to move your stuff, or hire a trailer from a garage or other place. Sometimes you can hire small moving trucks by the hour.
- If you’re moving and don’t have a lot of stuff, you might just be able to move it in a car. Use your own vehicle, or a friend or family member to move your things.
Remember hiring costs money, and it’s always good to offer to pay for petrol to friends or family who agree to help you.
Your support network
It’s important to have a support network after you leave home. It’s a really good idea to ensure that you’ll have friends and family available to support you emotionally (and to socialise with). Without a support network, you may feel lonely!
- Even if you’re just moving to another house in the same town or city, try to find out how far away your friends and family will be. Just having someone not too far away can be very helpful when you need someone's support.
- If you’re moving to a town or city where you don’t know anyone, consider joining social clubs or similar groups in order to make friends.
Check out the local bus services if you don’t have your own transport, so you can get to grocery stores and appointments as well as visiting friends and whānau.
Housing Resources: support
Work and Income
Work and Income can help with finding:
- emergency housing
- private rental
- living in a home, housing issues and public housing
- help with moving house
Click here to find out more from Work and Income.
Disability Information NZ
This website has an informative section on housing for those with disabilities.
Click here to go directly to this page.
Ready to Rent workshops
The Ministry of Social Development (MSD) provide funding for ‘Ready to Rent’ two-day workshops to support tenants wanting to apply for a property in the private rental market.
The course covers the following topics:
- Tenant’s and landlord’s rights and responsibilities
- Learn new skills to build positive relationships with landlords and neighbours
- Gain confidence in finding and maintaining affordable housing
- Applying for a rental property and presenting to a potential landlord
- Understanding the application and screening processes used by landlords
- Money management and creating a household budget
- Education on warm, dry, healthy homes including insulation, ventilation, heating, curtains, clothes drying
- Work and Income assistance
- Fire Safety in the home
- Insurance.
When tenants complete the course, they receive a ‘Ready to Rent’ certificate, which lets prospective landlords know they have taken the time to learn how to be a responsible tenant.
Below are links to organisation who provide this course throughout the country:
Habitat for Humanity - NZ wide
Tuatahi Centre – Lower North Island
Aukaha - Dunedin
Roderique Hope Trust - Taranaki
Hawkes Bay District Health Board – Hawkes Bay
Tenancy Services website – NZ Government
Click here to go to the homepage of this helpful website.
Click here to go straight to their beginners guide to renting.
Further resources: FASD housing research
These resources are more of a deep dive for caregivers or professionals into the specific challenges and considerations around independent and interdependent housing for people with FASD.
Please note, they are all from Canada, the country that leads the way internationally for FASD, but the information is very pertinent to us in Aotearoa.
• Current and ideal living arrangements for people with FASD
This is a two-part research project, published on 29th April 2024. Researchers spoke to adults with FASD and to caregivers about their housing experiences.
Click here to read Part 1: Perspectives from adults with FASD
Click here to read Part II: Perspectives from caregivers
• Video - Building Stability: Innovative Housing Strategies for People with FASD
This is a recorded webinar (43 mins) which discusses co-creating housing solutions with those with FASD.
Click here to watch.
• CanFASD housing project: Creating Intersections
This research paper from 2018 looks at a person-centred (i.e. individualised) framework for housing people with FASD. Again from Canada, but has lots of interesting research specifically for those with FASD or supporting someone with FASD.
- Page 35 has an interesting graphic which puts the person at the centre and considers all aspects of the person's life when considering housing.
- Pages 36 – 39 outlines FASD informed things to consider when looking for housing.
- Page 44 has an infographic that shows how you might evaluate the framework when considering housing.
- Pages 45- 52 break down things to consider even further.
- Pages 65-69 tables on how tenants thinking may be affected.
- Pages 70-73 tables on how tenants well-being and life function may be affected.
Click here to download this pdf.
• Presentation: barriers to housing and support vs. enablers to housing and support
This pdf of a presentation may be helpful to work through to understand what the challenges or barriers are for those with FASD gaining supported housing and how best to enable support.
Click here to read.